The fact that I’m leaving for Birmingham in six days, well, actually all the Erasmus-an-year-abroad-alone thing, scares me so much and I think that people don’t really get how this thing is driving me mad. This nine months mean a lot to me, more than what an Erasmus generally mean to people. I feel like this is my only chance to start over, to change everything I don’t like about myself and my life. I want this thing to be the turning point of my life. Someday I wanna think about my Erasmus and say that it was what changed everything. But. What if I screw up everything? If my crappy lazy attitude makes me wasting this opportunity? The truth is that I’m afraid of letting me down. I’m afraid I’ve overrated myself, that I won’t be able to do anything when I’ll get there. And this is my confession. I think that if I screw up, I’ll stay forever in this place, with all the same people, doing a job that I hate and live unhappily ever after.
1. Being so stubborn in different situations and losing of my best friends. 2. Giving up so easily about studying at the University of Venice. 3. Being still a friend for people I don’t like. 4. Being too nice with a person who really didn’t deserve it at all.S 5. Hiding aspects of my personality because I was scared that people wouldn’t understand me. 6. Spending a lot of money on stupid things. (But at that time that things were essential, loool)
day four: seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1. I overrated myself. I won’t make it in Birmingham. 2. I won’t never find a proper home in Birmingham. 3. My future housemates will be hateful. 4.
(in Birmingham) 5. No, come on, I will make it in Birmingham, my housemates will be nice, everything’s gonna be fine. *fake belief* 6. If I were rich, I would be happy. (Yes, I’m a material girl, lol) 7. Why the hell have I no *put the name of a random crush of mine here* in my life? (For the 80% of times the crush is Misha Collins, then 5% is ASkars, than 10% of total random crushes.)
1. Surprise me. I don’t know why, but people usually never surprise me. Perhaps I know too predicatable people or I’m too hard to suprise. Dunno. 2. Be passionate. I think it’s really important to have hobbies and be interested in something. 3. Have a little bit of nerdy soul inside. 4. Tell me the truth anytime. I hate liars as much as I hate raw tomatoes. (And I hate raw tomatoes A LOT). 5. Have good tastes in music (and movies). I don’t know if I can get on with someone who listens to music I don’t like. Lol. 6. Be indipendent, confident and rich (lol). 7. Have political ideas close to mine. Political ideas tell about the 80% of one’s personality and so. 8. Love and like as I am, and I will surely do the same.♥